The
Cardiac Family Recovery Program Training Manual for Administrators
and Facilitators
A
Heartmates Resource
for Professional Facilitators
and Administrators
The Cardiac
Family Recovery Training Manual is a complete professional guide
to develop and maintain a family program. 200 pages.
View the Table
of Contents and read two excerpts from the Manual below, then
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your order - the price includes shipping and handling
and complimentary copies of Heartmates®®
and The Heartmates®
Journal.
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Table of
Contents
- A New
Approach: Cardiac Family Recovery Services
- About the
Author
- Why a
Cardiac Family Recovery Program?
- A Letter
to Professional Caregivers
- A Unique
Program
- Program
Benefits
- The
Training Manual
- Understanding
the Cardiac Family
- Family
Concerns
- Family
Dynamics
- Family
Strengths and limitations
- The
Special Needs of Heartmates
- Issues for
"Cardiackids"
- The
Cardiac Couple
- Understanding
Grief
- Heartmates
Need to Grieve
- Understanding
the Role of Grief
- Old
Images: Defining New Realities
- Focus on
Feelings
- Time: A
Key Component of Grief
- Responding
to Grief and Loss
- A Summary
Checklist
- Note to
Facilitators
- Understanding
Small Groups - Read an excerpt
- Small
Group Process
- Stages of
Group Development
- Facilitation
Skills
- Tips for
Difficult Situations
- The
Guiding Role
- Mechanics
- Getting
Started
- Selecting
Facilitators
- Program
Membership
- Promoting
the Program
- Scheduling
Meetings
- Customizing
Options
- Mini-Series
- The Acute
Phase Program (In-Hospital)
- Meeting I:
After a Heart Attack
- Meeting
II: Understanding Cardiac Care
- Mini-Series
Structure
- Delivering
the Program
- Preparing
for Your Meetings
- Spontaneity
- The
Meeting Agenda
- Opening
the Meeting
- The Review
- The
Recovery Topic
- Closing
the Meeting
- Ground
Rules
Cardiac Family
Recovery Program Meeting Outlines
- Meeting I:
The Challenge of Recovery
- Meeting II:
The Challenge of Recovery, Part II
- Meeting III:
Family Concerns
- Meeting IV:
Family Concerns, Part II
- Meeting V:
Renewing the Relationship
- Meeting VI:
Renewing the Relationship, Part II
- Meeting VII:
Wrapping Things Up...For Now
Resources
- Cardiac
Family Recovery Program Evaluation
- Heartmates®
Communication Evaluation Checklist
- At-Risk
Self-Assessment for Heartmates®
- The
Cardiac Spouse/Family Grief Cycle
- Heartmates®
Recommended Reading List & Sample Promotional Materials
"Understanding
Small Groups"
Section IV,
Page 10
Tips for
Difficult Situations
As the Cardiac
Family Recovery Program facilitators, you need the power and the
permission to lead. There are situations in which you must
actively lead to keep the program participants safe.
Being too
passive does not adequately protect participants who may need a
safe environment to express themselves.
Being too
active does not give participants enough time and space to develop
and grow within the program.
Being too quick
to "help" (for example, when a heartmate is expressing
feelings) can give the message that it is dangerous to cry, or to
be angry, that we are too fragile to handle such feelings.
Being too
impersonal or formal can give the message that participants should
not share their personal concerns.
Watching the
balance is a subtle task for the co-facilitators of the Cardiac
Family Recovery Program. Remember that the purpose is to give each
participant safe space to share and express, to protect the group
as a whole and not permit an individual participant to take over
or infringe on other participants' rights.
Sample
situations and suggestions
If a
participant cries, allow it! Compassionate silence for the
duration of the tears is a respectful response. Often people can
and do continue to talk as they cry - encourage that! Participants
will be especially interested the first time this happens in a
meeting because it will set an important precedent (and crying is
a common response to many scenes in the videotapes). Remember
crying is a natural and normal response for people grieving.
Actively give permission with a few words like "Crying is
appropriate here." Rushing in to pat a shoulder or to give a
tissue is perceived as a restrictive message of "please don't
cry here...this is too uncomfortable for the facilitators to
allow."
If a
participant expresses anxiety by acting like the facilitators'
assistant, acknowledge the urge to help, suggesting that this is
not the appropriate time. In this program, they can "let
go" of the additional burden and see if they can get some
support or help for themselves. Many spouses feel powerless, and
express it by trying to control what is happening to others. They
can stay emotionally detached by being very analytical or helpful.
As facilitators we need to watch for that dynamic in ourselves. As
caregivers we would like to be able to "fix" people's
pain, and in this program we learn that we can't. We can support
heartmates as they grieve, but we can't do it for them!
If a
participant complains about another family member or the patient,
acknowledge how difficult such a situation is. But strongly state
that we can't control others. Shift the focus back to the
heartmate and the struggle they are experiencing. We can only
change ourselves or our own attitudes and responses to a
situation. (This behavior is especially common when a cardiac
spouse finds that the heart patient is unwilling or unable to stop
smoking. The cardiac spouse's reaction may vacillate between fury
and hurt.)
If a
participant is taking over by talking too long, too much, feel
free to interrupt between thoughts, and clearly say "we need
to move on, so everyone gets an opportunity to express their
concerns in the time allowed." This may be difficult to do
the first time, but once done participants are grateful, and you
have the satisfaction that your assertion has moved the meeting in
a positive direction.
If a
participant stays silent, passing every opportunity to share,
periodically invite a silent participant to share after presenting
an idea for discussion or one of the videotapes. Create an
opportunity for a silent participant to speak in the opening or
closing component of the meeting when something simple and short
is appropriate. Remember the purpose of your invitation is for the
individual to feel a part of the group despite limited verbal
involvement. Make clear that being verbal is not the only way to
get or give support. Respect the participant's choice; do not be
intrusive or put pressure on the participant. Clarify that a
participant's silence or silence in the group is not necessarily
"bad" or "good" so that other participants
understand and can be comfortable without filling every space with
words.
If a
participant is giving inaccurate or misunderstood medical
information, interrupt as soon as appropriate and as politely as
possible. Differentiate between what the participant may have
heard or experienced and what as a professional caregiver you
know. Provide a brief, accurate piece of data for the
participants, who would otherwise walk away with misinformation.
If a
participant is expressing anger by criticizing hospital staff, a
physician, or your health facility, acknowledge the anger, and the
normalcy of feeling anger as grieving cardiac family members. Do
not just dismiss the complaint being made; discriminate about the
potential reality of it as useful feedback, and suggest that they
discuss it with the appropriate person at the hospital (refer the
person to the patient advocate, liaison, ombudsman, the staff
person directly or the person's supervisor). After you have
acknowledged the anger, steer the participant toward the positive
aspect, by pointing out "how well the participant handled the
situation" or asking about "any learning or opportunity
from the situation." Turn the focus back to the meeting's
recovery topic and re-open discussion.
In no way can
this manual prepare you for every situation you will face as you
facilitate the Cardiac Family Recovery Program series.
Participants
may be a challenge at times, but they come to the program because
they need its support and help. Remember that heartmates are in
crisis. Do not take the challenges personally. Even when they are
directed at you, they are not really about you. Put such
challenges in perspective by debriefing after the meeting with
your co-facilitator.
A Closing
Letter to Professional Caregivers
(Section IX,
Page 5)
Dear
Professional Caregiver,
As a heartmate
and a professional caregiver like you, this is my opportunity to
say "thank you" in advance for your commitment to
cardiac families.
You have been
through the Cardiac Family Recovery Program Manual now for the
first time. I hope that you feel well informed and adequately
prepared to tackle your first program series.
Remember, you
do not have to know everything -- your presence and your caring
will shine through when your struggling cardiac spouses begin the
series. They need you and each other, and your efforts have given
them the opportunity of coming to a program designed specifically
to meet their needs. Soon you will be working with heartmates and
other cardiac family members grateful to find help, relieved to
finally be understood, and hopeful about their recovery.
If you are
anything like me, you will feel tremendous satisfaction and
nurturance from this work. You will come to love many of your
heartmates, and you will marvel at all of them - their power to
grow and recover, sometimes in the darkest of circumstances.
You'll be thrilled by each step in recovery they make; you'll be
renewed by their powerful energy to build themselves a positive
present and future; and you will be awed by the resiliency of the
human spirit to stand up and go on.
I hope that you
will feel honored, as I have, to have been a part of their
recovery. I hope you will observe proudly (as a successful parent
does) these wounded humans, having accepted reality and the
grief/recovery process, becoming whole again. For me, that's what
it's all about.
I wish I could
thank each one of you in person, and share recovery stories too.
Do not forget, every ending signals a new beginning. Celebrate
with your heartmates as they conquer their helplessness, turn
overwhelm into solid strength and spiritual serenity. It happens!
So celebrate - celebrate your work, celebrate health, celebrate
realistic recovery, celebrate life!
Your caring is
part of our recovery.
Rachael
Freed , founder of Heartmates
|
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